Simpsons Sundays #11: The Crepes Of Wrath

it has a certain je ne sais quoi

BONJOUR, MON AMI! C’est Simpsons Sundays! I don't speak any French, but this episode is set partly in France, so I clearly need to set the tone. HON HON BAGUETTE! 

Kind of a mediocre chalkboard gag, IMO. Personally I think garlic gum can be funny if you give it to a big enough jerk.

AAAAAND ANOTHER FUCKING REPEAT COUCH GAG. Did they only do like four couch gags for the whole first season? Smh my head.

We open on Bart arriving home from school, leaving a trail of his belongings scattered across the floor behind him, and feeding his frog. Homer begins to complain about the mess, but in his anger he trips on Bart’s skateboard, launching him down the stairs.

I WARNED YOU ABOUT STAIRS BRO! I TOLD YOU DOG!!

Homer lies injured at the bottom of the stairs, unable to rise and being endlessly tormented by a talking Krusty doll–another of Bart’s discarded possessions. Santa’s Little Helper approaches, but is too simple to get help, and lies down atop Homer to sleep instead.

Cut to seemingly hours later. The batteries in the Krusty doll are clearly running out, as evidenced by its slowed, distorted voice, but it does not cease its incessant chatter. Maggie crawls up, but has no idea how to help because basically she's baby, so she just sticks her pacifier in Homer’s mouth, I assume in an attempt to soothe him, before taking a nap beside him.

Marge and Lisa arrive home to this scene, both gasping in shock, and Marge asks what happened. Homer only demands that they bring him The Boy.

A furious Marge storms up to Bart’s room and condemns his actions (or inactions, as the case may be), demanding he pick up his room. Bart begrudgingly obliges, grumbling the whole time, and immediately gets distracted when he finds a box containing a single cherry bomb.

At Springfield Elementary, Skinner wanders the playground with his mother, calling out misbehavior. Agnes says he's certainly made something of himself, while calling him Spanky, which Skinner is obviously uncomfortable with her doing on school grounds. I think that's reasonable; I'd be utterly mortified too. 

Meanwhile, Bart shows off the cherry bomb to his friends, but Milhouse warns him that Skinner is on his way. Bart hides the explosive behind his back, and the kids pretend to be perfect little angels for their principal. Agnes asks Skinner why he hasn't introduced him to any of his pupils, calling him Spanky again, and Skinner reluctantly introduces the boys. Milhouse, Richard, Lewis, and…Bart Simpson. Agnes is shocked that this is the Bart Simpson he talks so much about, commenting on how sweet he looks, but Skinner quickly escorts her away. Bart calls him Spanky under his breath as he leaves, garnering an angry glance.

We then find the boys in the boys’ restroom, with Bart about to flush the bomb down a toilet, calling it a “classic.” Meanwhile, Agnes stops by the girls’ bathroom, and when Bart flushes the lit bomb, the toilets all begin violently spewing water…in both bathrooms, as it turns out. Agnes weakly calls out for her son, while Skinner reacts in horror and rage to the boys as they exit the bathroom.

Back at home, Homer rings a bell and yells as he lies on the couch, still injured, asking Marge for a grilled cheese sandwich just the way he likes it. And some of those wieners that come in a can. And some fruit cocktail. Of course, these demands change when the doorbell begins ringing, and Marge goes to answer it, peering out the peephole and being greeted by Skinner.

Skinner, with Bart in tow, explains that there's been a troubling incident at the school. Bart, naturally, gets the fuck out of dodge immediately by running to his room, while Skinner sits the Simpson parents down to explain Bart’s latest misdeed. Skinner believes that neither suspension nor expulsion will do the trick: Bart needs to be deported.

At Marge’s shock, Skinner assures her that he was being flippant, and was actually referring to a foreign exchange program. He explains that normally students are selected based on academic achievement, but for Bart, he's willing to make a big exception, and tells the Simpsons that for three full months, Bart can study far, far away from them. Homer agrees this sounds great, but that a kid can't learn much in three months, to which Marge responds that he didn't even ask where Bart was going. Skinner reveals that Bart would be going to a beautiful French chateau, and when questioned about Bart not speaking French, responds that the average child can pick up a new language in weeks when fully immersed in it. “Yeah, but what about Bart?” Homer asks. “Eh, I'm sure he'll learn enough to get by,” Skinner assures. 

Skinner adds that this can all be done for free if the Simpsons agree to take in an exchange student of their own, which…I don't think that's a real thing, but okay! Homer is hesitant, thinking some French principal is “pulling the same scam,” but Skinner assures him that for one thing, he won't be getting a French child, but an Albanian. “You mean all white with pink eyes?” Homer asks, which Skinner corrects. 

Marge agrees that this sounds great, but thinks Bart should have a say, and goes up to his room to pitch the idea. Bart, for his part, is admiring his frog, saying that the life of a frog is the life for him. Marge asks if he'd like to go to France for a few months, and Bart immediately lights up. I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE

Homer complains that Bart drives him crazy twelve months a year, and at least Skinner gets the summer off, as Bart enthuses about getting to take a plane to France. Marge announces that Bart likes the idea, and Skinner and Homer high-five.

Marge struggles to see Bart off at the airport, and Lisa complains, asking what Bart even knows about France. Bart replies, “I know I'm going and you're not,” which, burn. Homer tells Bart that he's going to be representing his country, and not to mess up France like he did his room, before Bart is escorted onto the chartered flight. 

Meanwhile, in Albania, a young boy is seen off by his own family. WONDER WHERE HE’S GOING?

Bart lands in France, where he is shoved around until he finally locates one of his hosts. The man seems gruff, but Bart is initially unbothered, and is in fact quite excited that he'll be riding in a motorcycle sidecar to get there, traveling past various fantastical scenes. However, it's clearly a long trip, and Bart clarifies that they are, in fact, going to Chateau Maison. Obviously, he butchers the pronunciation.

At Chateau Maison, another man remarks to his donkey Maurice–in subtitled French!--that once the American boy arrives, his days of backbreaking labor will be over. At this moment, Bart arrives, and realizes that he's been sent to a dump.

Back in Springfield, Lisa rattles off facts about Albania to Homer as they wait for their exchange student to arrive.

In France, one of the hosts introduces himself as César, and his nephew as Ugolin, and says that escape is impossible. He assures Bart that if he shuts up and does as he's told, the time will pass more quickly, but Bart seems justifiably unconvinced.

Meanwhile, the Simpsons greet their exchange student, Adil Hoxha, who is named after Albania’s last communist prime minister, Adil Carcani–the current prime minister at the time–and also Albanian dictator Enver Hoxha. He immediately wins the Simpsons over with his warmth, even calling Homer and Marge his father and mother. 

Back in France, César and Ugolin rifle through Bart’s belongings for valuables to sell, even giving Bart’s lucky red hat to Maurice. Bart tries to get them to stop, but they scream at him, so he backs off.

Skinner introduces Adil to the school, in a very backhanded way, and Adil takes the mic to say that he's already found Americans to be very trusting, and though he is “officially required” to hate them, he does not feel it in his heart.

Bart, meanwhile, is being forced to haul water.

At the Simpson dinner table, Adil and Lisa have a very early-episode argument about whether America is a land of opportunity and freedom or not. I say “very early-episode” because frankly this vehemently pro-USA stance seems wildly out of character for Lisa, who is later established to be quite left-leaning and probably disinclined to buy into nonsense about The American Dream™. Homer suggests that they both have a point, and Adil agrees to stop fighting. 

Marge goes to clear the dishes, but Adil says she's been “oppressed enough for the day,” and does so himself. Homer muses that clearly they know what the problem with their family was now, which Marge and Lisa react to angrily, with Lisa even excusing herself. Homer says she's just jealous, and they can always exchange her too if she doesn't get over it. Marge is displeased.

Bart, on the other hand, only gets a turnip for dinner. He is told that when he works like a man, he'll eat like one, and ordered to go to sleep. Bart trudges over to a pile of hay, but NOPE, that's MAURICE’S bed, thank you very much. Bart gets the cold hard floor. Honestly this is just such a miserable situation that it's not even funny.

Homer tucks Adil in, and when Adil calls him “father” he says he can just call him “dad,” which he does. Adil then asks if he can see where Homer works, and Homer, moved by his interest in his career, agrees. Adil then lets out a very familiar “excellent.” DUN-DUN-DUUUUN!

César demonstrates to Bart how to pull grapes off the bunch, and then says to do it a million times. This poor kid!

At the power plant, Homer treats Adil to American donuts, but Adil is more interested in seeing the plutonium isolation module. After asking Lenny for directions, Homer agrees.

Meanwhile, Bart is chastised for eating a single grape. These scenes are really short, sorry, there's not a ton to say about each one!

Adil takes copious photos as he and Homer tour the facility, which Homer is endeared by. He even takes several photos of the plutonium isolation module, though his task is somewhat hindered by Homer photobombing him. 

Meanwhile, Bart stomps grapes, and complains.

Homer and Marge discuss Adil, and how Homer’s taken such a shine to him. Homer demands Marge admit that he's been a huge help around the house, and Marge says she will, if Homer admits he loves Bart. 

In the treehouse, though, Adil is seen faxing photos to the Albanian government, under the codename Sparrow. The very photos he took that day, in fact. Obviously this is a Cold War thing, but given that the Cold War as we knew it was basically over by the time the episode aired, it's definitely strange.

At the chateau, Bart reads a letter from Marge, who wonders why he hasn't written back but assumes he's simply having too much fun. Of course, Bart is in horrible condition, clearly sickly and cold. He begins to cry at his family’s love for him, and honestly it's just really pitiful. Poor kid.

The winemakers, meanwhile, are engaging in ILLEGAL ACTIVITIES! The wine hasn't been fermenting long enough to be any good, so they're just straight up putting fucking antifreeze in it to give it “just the right kick.” And fun fact, THIS ACTUALLY FUCKING HAPPENED IN THE 80S–not in France, in Austria, but still, this is based on a real thing that actually happened! Fucking insane. Ugolin says he's put too much in, but César insists it's fine, and upon spotting Bart spying on them, demands he drink some of the tainted wine. Bart knows better, having witnessed the adulteration, but gives in regardless, probably fearing worse. So yeah, add “poisoning a child” to their list of crimes. Granted, Bart's fine, but still! They then send Bart out to buy more antifreeze, in the pouring rain. 

He walks around town in desperate search of help, and ultimately stumbles upon a policeman. Sounds great, except for the fact that Bart still can't speak French, so his cries fall on deaf–or at least uncomprehending–ears. The cop gives Bart some candy, which the starving boy eats, before Bart walks off, dejected. He gripes about how he's been here for two months and still can't speak French…before switching to fluent French mid-sentence. Realizing that he's finally managed to acquire the language, Bart chases the cop down again, revealing his treatment and the poisoning of the wine–the latter of which seems far more concerning to the cop. He's taken off by the officer, assured he'll be safe.

Homer, meanwhile, arrives home with some blueprints Adil wanted, commenting that he could probably build a nuclear power plant if he so wished. At this moment, a SWAT team outside demands to see Sparrow, and descends on the Simpsons home despite Homer’s obliviousness.

Bart sees César and Ugolin off to the paddy wagon, and is celebrated across France for his heroism! Hooray! 

Adil is handed off as part of a prisoner exchange program, being swapped for an American spy kid. Homer still doesn't seem to get that Adil was a spy, but whatever. Not long after, a plane from France arrives, carrying Bart, who comes bearing gifts for his family.

The family graciously welcomes Bart back, and at the house later, Lisa admits that it's good to have him home. Homer struggles to open a bottle of wine due to the presence of a cork, and Bart calls him a buffoon in French…which Homer reacts to with pride, knowing only that his son is speaking a foreign language. He gets the cork out with his teeth, and the episode ends.

Overall, The Crepes Of Wrath is pretty solid, but I think the constant scene cuts drag it down a bit, and it didn't have too many laugh-out-loud moments. I don't think I can give it more than a 6/10, I'm afraid. 

Sorry if this post was rushed! I didn't want to miss a week because of the holiday but it did put me on a time crunch. I'll see you next week for Krusty Gets Busted, where hopefully I'll have more to say! Regardless, please share and subscribe if you enjoyed, and I'll see you soon!