Simpsons Sundays #20: Bart Vs. Thanksgiving

thenks mather for my life

Gotta say, I'm really not sure how I feel about this one. Sure, the ending is sweet, but the events leading up to it just feel so miserable, and I'm not sure the ending is quite sweet enough to make it worthwhile. I dunno, let's get into it.

Really like the ambiguity of this chalkboard gag. What, pray tell, was Bart doing with his tongue? We can only speculate. My guess: licking things he's not supposed to. But then wouldn’t it just say licking things? HMMMM

The Simpsons run into the living room to find Grampa sleeping on the couch, and startle him awake. I like how it's fully voice acted, with Grampa making confused noises as he flails about. Very good couch gag. 

We open on Marge gutting the turkey while Maggie looks on, before Maggie wriggles out of her high chair to toddle into the living room. Here, Homer watches TV, Snowball 2 and Santa's Little Helper cuddle, and…Bart is trying to smother Lisa with a fucking couch cushion. Jesus.

Bart claims Lisa took his glue, but Lisa fires back that it's family glue. Homer threatens to take the glue away entirely if they don't stop fighting, and Lisa responds that it's about territorialism, not glue–Bart only wants the glue because she has it. Bart demands she prove it, and Lisa does so by handing it to him, and him immediately tossing it aside. Maggie tries to get her hands on it, but Lisa snatches it away and runs back upstairs, with Maggie following.

We then see that Homer’s been watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, and the Bullwinkle balloon has sprung a leak. One of the commentators, Bill, comments that he got a taste of his own medicine, laughing really hard before questioning whether what he said made sense. When his fellow commentator confirms that it did not, Bill laughs even more and quips, “Now I know how the Pilgrims felt!” His cohost asks what he's even talking about. This is like, the most internet-before-mainstream-internet the comedy has gotten in the show so far, and I'm into it. Feels like a modern shitpost somehow. 

Bart asks who Bullwinkle is, and subsequently fails to identify Underdog as well. Homer asks if he knows anything, and Bart retorts that he knows it wouldn't kill them to use cartoons made in the last fifty years. Homer assures Bart, however, that if they made a balloon for every “flash in the pan” cartoon character, they'd turn the tradition into a farce.

While neither of them are looking at the TV, a Bart Simpson balloon is shown in the parade, which raises new and troubling questions about the nature of the Simpsons universe. Is it like, some Truman Show shit in universe? I'd read fanfiction exploring this, honestly.

Maggie, meanwhile, makes her way up some unnecessarily perilous stairs to get to Lisa’s room. Lisa is thrilled to see her baby sister, and tells her that she's about to show her centerpiece to the family–“a tribute to the trailblazing women who made America great.” Lisa points out Georgia O’Keeffe, Susan B. Anthony, and Marjorie Stoneman Douglas, explaining that the latter worked her whole life to protecting the Florida Everglades. She then asks Maggie if she'd like to add to it as one of the Simpson women, and Maggie adds a scribble in red crayon, which Lisa thanks her for with a hug. Very sweet moment, I appreciate when Maggie gets to be cute.

In the kitchen, Bart asks Marge if he can help, and Marge tasks him with doing the cranberry sauce, which of course comes pre-canned and jellied. I'm not gonna judge here, that's how I grew up with it too and it's fucking delicious. Forgive me for not being too bougie to happily devour canned jellied cranberry sauce. Anyway, Bart struggles to find the can, then struggles to find the can opener, then fails to figure out the can opener and claims it's broken, all distracting Marge.

I've gotta say, it doesn't seem like Bart is legitimately struggling here–I really think in this instance, he's just being a little shit. This will be a recurring theme in this episode, and it's taken to a level I don't really care for. 

Homer shows Maggie the Dallas Cowboys on the TV, and explains that they're his favorite team…and he wants them to lose by less than five points, presumably because sports betting. We then see that one of their players has been seriously injured, to Homer’s glee. Marge reminds him that he should go pick up Grampa, and Homer says he'll do it at halftime. 

At this moment, Patty and Selma arrive, and Marge reminds Homer that he promised to be nice. Of course, Patty and Selma brought their own food (Swedish meatballs and trout almandine), even though they knew Marge was cooking a turkey, because “some people” think Marge’s turkey is dry. Marge is seething.

Homer is fake nice to them, giving each a kiss on the cheek, before fucking off to get Grampa, grumbling on the drive over.

Homer tunes the radio to the sports station, where the halftime show is playing, featuring Hooray For Everything performing a tribute to “the best hemisphere on Earth: the Western Hemisphere, the dancinest hemisphere of all!” He vibes to the music before arriving at the Retirement Castle, where staff is sending regards from families who “wish they could be there.” Homer tries to drag Grampa out, saying the place is depressing, and Grampa protests that he lives there. Homer sarcastically says that it's probably a blast once you get used to it, and leads Grampa out.

At this point, a taxi arrives at the Simpson residence, carrying Marge’s mother, Jacqueline. She knocks on the window to the kitchen, where Patty and Selma are basting the FUCK out of the turkey, and Marge goes to greet her at the door. Jacqueline says she has laryngitis and it hurts to talk, so she'll just say one thing: “you never do anything right.” Ouch. 

Maggie watches the halftime show. Not much to say here.

Homer struggles to start a fire, and Grampa, Patty, and Selma all roast him. At this point, Marge announces that it's time for dinner, and calls Lisa down to show everyone her centerpiece.

Everyone is impressed with Lisa’s handiwork, and Patty and Selma comment that her gifts definitely came from their side of the family. They try to rope Jacqueline into agreeing with them, but she just tells them to leave her alone. Selma asks Lisa how long it took, and Lisa waxes poetic about how it was a labor of love…before Bart traipses in bearing the turkey, interrupting her. 

Bart scoffs at the centerpiece for taking up real estate on the table, and starts trying to shove it off. This leads to an emotional tug of war, with Lisa begging him to let it go, emphasizing that she worked forever on it. Unfortunately, Bart gets the upper hand, and just tosses it into the fucking fireplace. Which is a dick move. 

Lisa attempts to rescue her craft, but it's naught but ash, leading her to attack Bart, screaming that he doesn't even care. Homer and Marge tear the kids apart, and Lisa runs off to her room sobbing.

Homer demands Bart go to his room, and Bart, not seeing the seriousness of the situation, says he'll take his food to go. Homer doesn't back down though, so Bart asks Marge if he really has to, which she insists he does, yelling that he ruined Thanksgiving. Which, yeah, is definitely over the top and not good parenting, and Bart’s not the only one who's been an asshole this Thanksgiving. But he has been an asshole, so I do think sending him to his room is a reasonable punishment.

Bart grumbles in his room while the rest of the family prays. Homer thanks God for nuclear power, which he says is the cleanest and safest power there is–“except for solar, which is just a pipe dream.” (For all I'm in favor of solar power where at all feasible and Homer is clearly wrong about it for the most part, I do need to point out that there are areas of the world where solar panels just aren't an option; I grew up in a forest, solar panels would not have worked on my childhood home with the amount of tree cover. So y'know, there are kinks to be ironed out.) He also thanks God for “the occasional moments of peace and love (their) family experiences”...but makes it clear that they did NOT have those moments today, and breaks down about how much his family sucks. Everybody just says “amen,” and Selma comments that it was the worst prayer yet.

It's then that saxophone music begins playing from upstairs–Lisa is playing the blues. Marge decides to go up and talk to the children, and Homer is relieved, believing Marge will fix everything.

She starts with Lisa, letting her know her food is getting cold. Lisa just sobs, saying things like this always happen in this family, and Marge admits that she notices that too. She assures Lisa that when she's ready, they'll be waiting for her.

Marge then knocks on Bart’s door, saying he can have his food once he apologizes to his sister–a real apology, in front of everyone. Bart is indignant, not understanding why he should apologize, which just makes him come across as so uncharacteristically dickish here given how obviously Lisa was affected. Like yeah, Bart’s a troublemaker, but usually he's less of a jerk than he is here, particularly when unprovoked–I get that what Marge said cut deep, but Marge isn't the one he needs to apologize to, and Lisa genuinely did nothing to provoke such a cruel response. I'm not a fan of this characterization, not gonna lie. He then decides to run away, sneaking out through the window. 

He pauses when he lands on some flowers, before deciding to lean into it and jumping up and down on them to crush them. Meanwhile, Homer is scolding Santa’s Little Helper, and sends him outside, where Bart decides to take him with him.

Bart and Santa’s Little Helper walk through some questionable terrain, before arriving outside of Burns Manor. Inside, Burns cuts up the tiniest slice of turkey, taking a single bite. He compliments Smithers on his amazing cooking, and Smithers offers him some candied yams. Burns, however, claims he couldn't possibly eat another bite, and orders Smithers to dispose of the massive banquet he's prepared.

However, he does have room for Smithers’ famous pumpkin pie, which Smithers assures him is cooling on the windowsill. Bart sneaks his way over to the cooling pie, but this being a caricature of a mansion, it's guarded by a proximity alarm. Naturally, Bart sets it off in his attempt to grab the pie, triggering a security call to Burns, who obviously tells security to release the hounds, as one does. Bart runs for it.

Lisa, meanwhile, composes a poem about her feelings surrounding the incident, pretty clearly riffing off Howl by Allen Ginsberg. 

Bart successfully escapes The Hounds, and is found by Santa’s Little Helper. Bart assures his dog that they'll get some food, even if they have to pay for it. Bart’s stomach growls, and Santa's Little Helper growls back, as they cross over into the wrong side of town.

Bart goes to a blood donation site offering twelve bucks for blood, and gives them Homer’s ID to convince them he's over 18. Santa’s Little Helper just waits outside.

Back at home, Jacqueline says she's sorry she came. Patty and Selma wonder when Bart will apologize, commenting on his stubbornness. Grampa offers that Homer was never stubborn, and just folded instantly, as if he had no will of his own. “Isn't that true, Homer?” “Yes Dad!” 

Bart stumbles woozily out of the clinic with his free cookie, before passing out in the gutter, where Santa’s Little Helper eats the cookie. Hope it wasn't chocolate chip. Some time later, a few homeless men find Bart, and guide him to the soup kitchen.

Bart is delighted to get free food, but shocked to see Kent Brockman doing a piece there. Kent proceeds to make some very offensive remarks about the unhoused, and says that once a year, they throw them a bone…a TURKEY bone! 

The rest of the family watches the feature on TV, but then Marge announces that Lisa has written a poem that she'd like to share. Lisa begins her poem, but then the family notices Bart on the TV, and immediately ignores her.

Kent asks Bart if there’s anything he'd like to say to his family should they be watching, and Bart responds, “Haha, I didn't apologize!” DICK MOVE. Homer picks up the phone and demands the operator give him the number for 911, because…it's fucking Homer, okay.

The news crew packs up and leaves, and the homeless guys ask Bart if he's got a place to sleep. Bart says he's got this family he sorta hangs out with, and one of the guys says that sounds pretty sweet, which Bart admits it is. Moved by their plight, Bart offers them his money, and heads home.

The cops take a report from the Simpsons, telling them he's long gone from the rescue mission. They ask why Bart might've run away, and Homer and Marge admit that they yelled at him, sent him to his room, and tried to make him apologize to Lisa, and that Marge told him he ruined Thanksgiving. 

Bart, meanwhile, keeps walking.

The extended family begins to leave, with Jacqueline saying she'd say something comforting were it not for her voice and Grampa eager to get a move on, lest the retirement castle declare him legally dead and collect his insurance. After this, Homer and Marge try to console each other, clearly torn up.

Bart arrives at the door, but hesitates, imagining how it might go down. He imagines his family affectionately greeting them, and him apologizing, but them declaring his apology insufficient, and making him the scapegoat for everything. Which, admittedly, is a fair concern. 

Bart, bitter, climbs up onto the roof rather than go inside, and is delighted to discover his thrown toys up there. He begins playing, fantasizing about scoring a touchdown at the Super Bowl despite being “the boy nobody wanted,” but then he hears something…

Lisa writes in her diary about Bart being missing, fearing it's her fault, which…poor kid, because it really isn't. She’s the only one in this situation who’s largely blameless. She then begins crying, which Bart hears, and he makes his presence known, poking his head over the edge of the roof.

Lisa joins her brother on the roof, asking what he's doing up there and saying everyone’s worried. Bart asks if they cried, and Lisa confirms they did, which Bart considers a bullseye. Lisa asks if Bart burned her centerpiece because he hates her, or because he's bad, and Bart breaks down, admitting he doesn't know why, and he doesn't know why he enjoyed it, or why he'll do it again. 

Lisa asks him to apologize, and Bart asks why he should. Lisa explains that the only reason to apologize is to look down inside yourself and find the part of you that feels bad that you hurt your sister's feelings. Bart is hesitant, but Lisa demands he look. Bart looks deep within, struggling with his feelings, but eventually realizes that he made Lisa cry, and apologizes, which Lisa accepts.

Homer overhears this, and comments to Marge that they're great parents. The next morning, Homer thanks God for giving the family one more crack at togetherness over sandwiches, and the episode ends.

So yeah, while this episode had some really good gags, and a good emotional ending, I really don't like the route they took with Bart’s character here. I get that he lashes out and doesn't understand why–that I don't mind so much–but he didn't really seem to be reacting to anything here, so it just makes him come across as an unrepentant dick for most of this episode rather than a genuinely troubled kid. Also, like…what is with the pacing of so many early Simpsons episodes being so weird? The inciting incident doesn't happen till nearly halfway through the episode! I dunno, it just bugs me as a writer. So I don't think I can give this one more than a 5/10–it’s still not a bad episode, but it's definitely dragged down by those factors. 

As always, thank you for tuning in! If you haven't subscribed yet, be sure to do that so you don't miss when I post, and I'll see you next week for Bart The Daredevil!