Simpsons Sundays #22: Itchy & Scratchy & Marge

can’t take marge to the symphony, there’s too much sax and violins

Okay, so as much as I enjoyed Itchy & Scratchy & Marge, I have to say up front that this episode seems…extremely confused about its message in places. It's definitely pro-artistic expression in theory, but some of the narrative choices muddle the message quite a bit for me, and I'm gonna be dissecting that as I go through it. There's gonna be a lot of discussion of Themes here, I think. But also, this episode, to my utter delight, gets to the plot basically immediately, so I should probably follow that example.

You know what? As an American who isn't exactly proud of their country, I would much prefer to pledge allegiance to Bart than some lame-ass old flag. Just sayin’.

The couch gag is that there is no couch. There is only THE VOID (AKA the empty living room).

We open on Marge seasoning some pork chops, and apparently being more familiar with spices than she is later in the series. Homer comments that she makes the best pork chops in the world, but Marge insists they're nothing special, adding that “the extra ingredient is care.” She adds even more seasonings, and only loses a couple points for mispronouncing “turmeric,” which prompts Homer to declare that he's building Marge a spice rack. Marge says he doesn't need to go to the trouble, but Homer shrugs it off as no big deal, saying he's got a whole garage full of tools he never uses. FORESHADOWING?

Meanwhile, in the living room, the kids are excited to watch Itchy & Scratchy. Homer passes in front of the TV on his way to the garage/basement (it's confusing), and Bart calls him on it. Homer just tells him to shut up.

In the classic Itchy & Scratchy episode “Hold That Feline,” Itchy and Scratchy play football. Itchy, scoundrel that he is, tricks Scratchy into catching a football-shaped bomb, which blows a huge crater into the ground. Scratchy, injured, is then dogpiled by a bunch of massive buff football men. Extremely compelling storytelling, obviously. Maggie is certainly intrigued.

Homer, meanwhile, finds a whole-ass book on building spice racks in the garasement or barage or whatever the fuck he's in. I think it’s the garage, but later shots make it unclear. He grabs a pile of wood and picks up a hammer as per the instructions, and manages to make just an absolutely dogshit spice rack. Just completely fucks it up.

But that's not important, because Maggie is approaching from above–which is what makes me wonder if this is the basement, because a home garage wouldn't generally have stairs to the second floor, I don't think?

Anyway, Maggie’s got a mallet, and she whacks Homer on the head with it before fleeing. And actually I think the shot of her fleeing does confirm it's the garage, and the Simpson house is just fucking weird. 

But I'm definitely focusing on the wrong thing here. Maggie just fuckin’ brained her father. (Side note: As my friend Avery once put it, Maggie is without sin, which is why it's so funny when she sins.) Homer knocks over a can of red paint as he falls to the ground, which would make the whole scene look significantly gorier than it actually is if any of it actually got on him. You tried, animators.

Later, Homer lies on the couch with his head bandaged, directly on top of his son. Bart asks if he can move his head, and Homer says, “No, I can't! It's broken!” Marge wonders where an innocent child like Maggie could've gotten such an idea, right in time for another Itchy & Scratchy episode, “Kitchen Kut-Ups,” to begin.

In this episode, Itchy and Scratchy beat each other with giant tenderizing mallets in a kitchen, dressed as chefs. We then cut to Itchy attempting to stab Scratchy, whose chef’s coat is pinned down with kitchen knives, and eventually succeeding, albeit bloodlessly. 

The kids are enthralled, and Maggie, mindlessly imitating what she sees on TV, grabs a pencil and approaches Homer, making stabbing motions while the scary music from Psycho plays. Marge realizes that television is responsible for this, and turns the TV off, telling an angry Bart and Lisa that they're no longer allowed to watch cartoons. Lisa protests that without cartoons, they'll grow up without a sense of humor and become robots, which Bart isn't entirely opposed to given that robots are bitchin’.

See, this is what I appreciate about this episode, especially after my pacing complaints last week. The plot is set in motion almost immediately here–there's setup, yeah, but no more than is needed for the story. We know the situation, and now we have room for it to escalate.

On the playground, Nelson takes a break from bullying Bart to express his sympathies about the cartoon ban. Milhouse goes one step further, suggesting that Bart could just watch Itchy & Scratchy at his house. Bart declares this to be just crazy enough to work.

Homer tries to call in injured to work, but whoever is on the other end doesn't believe him when he says, quote, “my baby beat me up,” and from Homer’s response we can gather they believe it to be the worst excuse he's ever thought up. I do feel for Homer here; he's genuinely telling the truth for once, but the truth is so outlandish that obviously no one's gonna believe it. I mean, no one seemed to quite believe my dad when he joked that I beat him up when I was 11 or so (to be crystal clear, it was actually a complete accident and he knew it, he was being silly, but I did genuinely break a couple of his ribs), and that's significantly less insane than a one-year-old infant bashing you in the head with a mallet. 

Marge wonders why Bart and Lisa are so late getting home from school, and we immediately cut to the answer, which is Bart and Lisa hanging at Milhouse’s and Janie’s respectively, watching Itchy & Scratchy’s third-highest-rated episode on IMDB, “Messenger of Death.” In this beloved episode, Itchy appears at Scratchy’s door as a delivery man, except his “delivery” is a bazooka blast to Scratchy’s head, reducing it to naught but a charred skull. Truly a certified hood classic.

Marge, meanwhile, is taking notes on this very episode. Homer asks why she's allowed to watch cartoons, and Marge just says “Because I said so.” She then explains that she's cataloguing the violence in these cartoons, believing adults have never sat down and watched them before. 

We cut back to the episode, where Itchy hits Scratchy in the back of the head with a mallet so hard his eyes pop out of his skull. Itchy then hands two cherry bombs to Scratchy, which he believes to be his eyes and promptly shoves in his empty sockets. Scratchy goes about his day, before noticing that he has bombs for eyes, and then promptly blowing up.

Marge wonders what kind of warped human being would find such a thing funny. Homer proceeds to be that kind of warped human being. Marge can't believe this entertainment is considered suitable for kids, and Homer doesn't seem to disagree, but doesn't see what she can do. Marge says she's going to…write a letter!

Marge goes off and writes a letter, in which she says the cartoons shown to children are too violent and influencing kids negatively. We see Krusty, an animator, and the owner of Itchy & Scratchy, Roger Myers, reading it, with the latter dictating a response.

The response starts out formulaic, but devolves into saying one person cannot make a difference, “no matter how big a screwball she is,” and implicitly making some rather rude comments about Marge that we are unfortunately not privy to. Marge, furious, decides to show them “what one screwball can do.”

Cut to Marge leading the Simpson clan in a protest outside Itchy & Scratchy Intl. HQ, with some very amusing signs. I’m just gonna stop and highlight all of them. Bart, of course, fixed his.

Homer asks how long they'll have to do this, and Marge responds that she's never changed the world before, so she doesn't know how long it takes, but that if enough people take an interest…

Cue Maude Flanders approaching and asking what SNUH is. Marge explains that it stands for Springfieldians for Nonviolence, Understanding, and Helping, and that she's started a crusade against cartoon violence. Bart is reminded by her comments that children's minds are being warped every day at four that he needs to go to Milhouse’s and “play sports,” and Lisa follows suit. 

Soon, Marge’s crusade attracts a whole crowd of Springfieldians, many of whom have also been attacked with mallets. And see, this is what I mean about the message being confused–Marge is clearly meant to be in the wrong here, and I’d argue in real life she absolutely would be, but the narrative of the episode kinda shows her as having a good point by showing other families also being adversely affected by the show. The theme is going to be one of the validity of less than savory artistic expression, which surely is something the Simpsons writers are in favor of, so I'm not sure why they decided to back up Marge’s crusade narratively like this. 

Later, the Simpsons eat shitty TV dinners, and Bart keeps trying to go watch cartoons. Marge apologizes for the dinners, saying she'll make it up tomorrow, but when Homer suggests she make her famous pork chops she realizes she has three protest rallies that day. Homer grumbles about her busy schedule, comparing her to Jane Fonda.

One of these protests takes SNUH to Krusty's set, where they loudly protest on air. “What do we want?” “SUBSTANTIALLY LESS VIOLENCE IN CHILDREN’S PROGRAMMING!” “When do we want it?” “NOW!” Krusty sobs that they're ruining the show, and begs for them to stop, breaking down on the air. 

Later, Krusty reviews the footage, along with the CEO, who vows to stop Marge. Unfortunately, his staff’s only suggestions on how to do so are acts of cartoon violence. “Drop an anvil on her?” “Hit her in the head with a piano?” “Stuff her full of TNT, then throw a match down her throat and run?”

One of the animators watches Marge protest outside, and begins to draw an idea he just got, proclaiming how funny he is.

Marge continues to take notes on Itchy & Scratchy, specifically the latest episode, which features a squirrel with a blue beehive telling the titular duo to stop beating each other with baseball bats.

Marge’s nonconsensual fursona is then decapitated with swings from Itchy and Scratchy, which enrages the real Marge. 

At that moment, Marge gets a call from Smartline, Springfield’s Dateline knockoff, and angrily answers it, saying she'd love to come on. We then cut to the broadcast, hosted by Kent Brockman, where Myers also appearing, alongside Krusty and psychological expert Dr. Marvin FUCKING Monroe. 

We're shown an excerpt of an Itchy & Scratchy cartoon, where Itchy blows up Scratchy’s grave, setting his skeleton on fire. Kent asks Marge what's wrong with it, and Myers insists there's nothing wrong with it, talking over Marge's insistence that it's a bad influence. Myers points out that according to his research, there was violence before cartoons, like this thing called the Crusades. Dr. Monroe then gives his “expert” opinion that cartoon hijinks pale in comparison to what psychiatrists see every day. Krusty…just goofs off, totally broken. Marge, in the final nine seconds of the broadcasts, urges any concerned parents to write in to the producers.

Cut to Myers reading a colossal pile of angry letters. He realizes that “the screwballs have spoken.”

Later, Marge prepares pork chops, even using the shitty spice rack Homer made her. Then, Myers calls, resentfully asking for her input.

Itchy just stole Scratchy’s ice cream cone–no, pie, those are easier to draw–and they were planning for Scratchy to throw Itchy into a vat of acid, but realized that could be construed as violent, and don't know how else to end it. Marge suggests that Itchy could share the pie with Scratchy, which Myers reluctantly accepts.

We cut to the family watching TV, specifically Homer being engrossed in an infomercial. Marge then walks in and changes the channel, saying the kids can watch all the cartoons they want now. Bart and Lisa scoot up close to the TV, with Maggie quickly joining them.

We're subjected to the latest Itchy & Scratchy episode, “Porch Pals,” which shows the series’ newfound commitment to toothless, conflict-free “entertainment.” Even the theme song is altered to reflect this new direction. The episode features Itchy and Scratchy sitting in rocking chairs on a porch, looking frankly high as balls, sharing lemonade. That's it. That's the episode.

Lisa comments that Itchy and Scratchy have lost their edge, but Marge thinks it conveys a nice message about sharing. Bart thinks it sucks. Maggie, being absurdly impressionable, produces a glass of lemonade to give to Homer. Bart then turns the TV off, bored to tears.

Around Springfield, every kid turns off their TV and comes outside. We're then shown a sequence of kids harmoniously playing outside, no longer distracted by television, which is kinda funny when you remember that The Simpsons is itself a TV show. Like. You ARE the thing distracting the youth, guys.

Krusty then shows up to an empty studio, still unhinged.

At dinner, Marge asks the kids what they did today. Bart went fishing; Lisa went birdwatching. They politely ask to be excused to work on their soapbox racer, and Marge, pleased, allows it, admitting to Homer that she wasn't expecting such a big change. Homer tells her he always knew she'd change the world for the better.

Elsewhere, Michelangelo’s David is being boxed up for a US tour, with stops in New York, Springfield, and, if they have time, Chicago, Boston, and Los Angeles. And yes, they did fully draw David’s marble genitalia. Good lord there's penice.

Marge is called downstairs by the rest of SNUH, demanding she lead a protest against the statue. Marge, however, acknowledges that David is a masterpiece, and doesn't see what the fuss is about. Helen Lovejoy says it “graphically portrays parts of the human body which, practical as they may be, are evil,” and Marge replies that she likes the statue. Helen scoffs that she told them all Marge was soft on full frontal nudity, and leads the protestors on their way. SNUH confronts the exhibitors at the airport, demanding they leave. 

Marge is called onto Smartline again, and says that she's actually not against the statue, and thinks everyone should see it. Dr. Monroe asks how she can be against one form of free expression but against another, and Marge concedes that she can't, but says she still hates the cartoons. When asked what she wants to say to the protestors, she says that one person can make a difference, but they probably shouldn't, and Kent ends the episode early, but not before announcing that next week they'll be debating what the one true faith is. That's definitely not gonna stir up controversy!

The kids are back to watching violent cartoons, namely an Itchy & Scratchy episode where the duo draw successively larger guns on each other, eventually big enough to be seen from space, culminating in Scratchy being shot and blasted into the ether. Maggie, of course, proceeds to grab a gun with suction cup darts and shoot a photo of Homer. 

Homer and Marge, meanwhile, go to see David, but Marge is saddened that the kids are skipping out to watch “a cat and mouse disembowel each other.” Homer, however, assures her that soon every kid in Springfield will see the statue, because they're forcing them to. Marge is pleased, and the episode ends.

So I did like this episode quite a lot–the pacing is perfect and the comedy and characterization are on point. That being said, I'm really confused about the message we're meant to take away. I assume the writers are in favor of all artistic expression, so why did they show Springfield as better off without violent cartoons? It's just an odd decision to me. But aside from that quibble, Itchy & Scratchy & Marge is a really good episode with a lot of memorable moments, and I'm gonna be giving it an 8/10. Good stuff.

As always, thanks for joining me, and be sure to subscribe so you never miss a post! I'll see you next week, when we cover Bart Gets Hit By A Car. Gee, I wonder what could possibly happen in THAT episode?? Till next time!