Simpsons Sundays #4: There’s No Disgrace Like Home

what’s really disgraceful is that characterization tbh

So far, There's No Disgrace Like Home is both the least Simpsons-y (Simpsonian?) episode of the early years, and the most. 

On the one hand, the humor feels, by and large, a lot closer to the generally-accepted “classic” era. There's a lot of good gags in this one! On the other hand, the characterization for much of the core cast feels…wrong. Sure, the show was still finding its footing, but even by early series standards it's jarring. But enough preamble, you’ve already had to wait an extra week for this post. Let’s get into the show!

We begin with a lame chalkboard gag that, unlike the previous two, lacks any real subversiveness…

…and a couch gag that's just a worse version of the one from Bart The Genius. Come on, Simpsons staff. Do better.

We open on Bart and Lisa arguing, when Homer comes in to break up their fight. Lisa explains that they were fighting over who loves Homer more, and, moved, Homer decides to let them continue…only to discover that they're each accusing the other of loving him more. Ouch. Homer demands they get it all out of their system immediately–he can't have them embarrassing him at Mr. Burns’ picnic.

Homer moves to the kitchen, where he ogles one of Marge’s jello desserts. “Mmm…marshmallow!” He picks a marshmallow out of the dessert and eats it, to Marge’s chagrin. He justifies this by saying he needs to get some of the unfortunate noises out of his system before the event, and asks Marge if she's sure she made enough desserts, since Burns loves them. Marge points out that he only said he liked it, once, but this does not seem to have stopped her from making five separate jellos. Homer claims that it's the only time Burns has ever spoken to him without using the word “bonehead,” which, side note, we know is untrue because Burns didn't call Homer a bonehead when he rehired him in the episode immediately before this now did he?? 

CONTINUITY: NOT A THING THE SIMPSONS IS KNOWN FOR

The family then drives to the picnic, with each Simpson carrying one (1) jello on their lap. Which gives us this excellent Maggie. 10/10. No notes.

They then arrive at Burns Manor, which is of course a fuckoff huge mansion. Homer tells the kids that he wants them to show him “some love and/or respect,” which Lisa says is a tough choice. Bart’s going respect.

Cut to Burns greeting an employee, who says he's thrilled to be there. His son, conversely, says he's not, because he had to miss Little League for this. Burns proceeds to send the family off, before telling Smithers that he wants the man fired lest his imperfect family ruin his picnic. Christ, I think this goes without saying but Burns suuuuucks. 

The Simpsons, as it happens, are the next family to be greeted, and Burns greets each family member in turn–after glancing at his reference sheet of who’s who, of course. He fucks up despite the cheat sheet and calls Bart “Brat,” and when Bart corrects him, Homer admonishes him, “Don't correct the man, Brat!” He then brandishes a jello dessert, which Burns reacts to with disgust. Everyone brought jello. Everyone.

On their way out to the picnic proper, Burns tells the Simpsons to make themselves at home. Bart informs Homer that this means he can lie around in his underwear and scratch himself, which Homer takes poorly. However, Burns’ attention causes him to pivot to false approval. Frankly, Bart is right and Homer should do just that. Eat the rich and all that. And by “eat” I mean “inconvenience as much as possible,” I guess.

Homer reminds the kids to be normal, to which Lisa immediately responds by challenging Bart to race her into the fountain. Marge, meanwhile, encounters another mother with a baby daughter, who invites her to get some punch. Marge initially declines, saying she's not much of a drinker, but takes her up on the offer after she points out Bart torturing the swans. (Honestly, I think if you can defeat a swan you're probably worthy of some respect.) They drop the babies off in the nursery, unsupervised save for a TV. FUCK CHILDCARE, MAMA’S GETTIN WASTED!!

Homer chases the kids around, and grabs Bart by the collar, but Bart reminds him that if he blows up he'll lose his job. At just this moment, Smithers announces over the loudspeaker that there is a father-son sack race coming up…and participation is mandatory. Homer asks Bart if he remembers the rules, and Bart affirms that he does: shut up, and let Burns win.

Also Lisa is doing this in the fountain, which, okay. Y’know what? Good for her.

The mothers hang out around the punch bowl, where a lady brags about her overachieving children and her uncertainty as to which one she loves more to an increasingly inebriated Marge, who is scooping herself even more punch. Marge says she senses greatness in her family, just greatness others can't see, and that if they're not great, they're at least average. She then points out that there's “a little alkyhol” in the punch, which…ya think?

We then cut to the sack race, where Smithers encourages Burns to jump the gun. Burns hops slowly, and the rest of the participants follow suit, but Bart thinks this is bullshit and decides to speed up the pace. Homer, of course, frantically tries to catch up with him and stop him, and ultimately manages to tackle him just shy of the finish line…allowing Burns to win anyway. 

As Homer and the kids head towards the gazebo, we see Marge indulging in a drunken musical number before flopping into Homer's arms. She repeats that she's not much of a drinker, and Homer grumbles that she picked the perfect time to start. 

See, this is what I'm talking about when I say the characterization seems wonky. Obviously this was a one-off thing for Marge, and that could be justified, but it doesn't feel like it is justified here. At the same time, Homer’s embarrassment over Marge’s behavior feels off to me, albeit admittedly less so. It certainly feels hypocritical, which, to be fair, doesn't seem entirely out of character for Homer, but…I dunno. It just all feels wrong to me, even by the standards of the early episodes.

Cut to the gazebo, where Burns is about to give his toast (and Marge has apparently retrieved Maggie, so points to her). Marge applauds too long after Burns thanks them for coming, and then apologizes too much, because again, she's very drunk. Burns then adds that everyone must now leave within ten minutes, lest they be attacked by The Hounds. To be fair, that's generally how I feel after an extended period of socializing, so I can't get too mad at him for this one.

As the families file out of the building, a happy-looking family of four exits, with the son giving the father a smooch after affirming that he had a good time. Burns approves of this display of family unity, so Homer urges Bart to do the same. Bart, naturally, is disgusted, so Homer bribes him with five bucks to do the deed. Burns approves of this less.

At their cars, Homer approaches the father of the previous family, expressing relief that the event is over and he can go home and act normal. The other father asks what he means, and Homer derides the kiss as a “cornball routine,” to which the other man responds that he pities Homer. The nice son lets the nice daughter into the car first, while Bart and Lisa argue over who gets in before whom. The nice wife asks the nice husband if he needs her to drive; Marge, of course, is trashed. Homer sees the Nice Normal Family drive off singing that song about Bingo the farmer's dog that I cannot recall the name of, haloes over their heads.

His family, on the other hand, he sees like this, beckoning him in, chanting that he's one of them. Man, I’m gonna miss these insane animation moments later on.

Later, the family, save for Homer, sits around the TV eating microwave dinners and watching a nature documentary about birds. Homer barges in, and turns off the TV, saying that the picnic opened his eyes and they need to eat at the dining table, like a real family. Once they're there, of course, they all continue eating like pigs, which Homer also objects to, insisting they say grace first. Bart pipes in, “Okay! Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub!”, which is absolutely something I did as a kid in an attempt to get out of saying grace, and no, it did not work. 

It doesn't work here, either! Homer insists on saying a proper prayer, having everyone bow their heads. Of course, by “proper prayer” I mean “roasting his kids to God himself, mixing up the words ‘omnipotent’ and ‘omnivorous,’ and asking why he was smited by this family.” Marge has a problem with this, and Homer apologizes, but says he thinks sometimes they're the worst family in town. Bart tells Homer not to have a cow, and Lisa assures him that in truth, all families are like them.

So of course Homer decides to take the family out to look through other people’s windows and prove Lisa wrong. NORMAL RESPONSE

Naturally, the families they see are normal, except one of them does chase the Simpsons off with a gun. And then they see a house that's a total dump…and also their own house. Oops.

At Moe’s, Homer drowns his sorrows, while the cops look for a family of peeping toms. WONDER WHO THAT MIGHT BE! Of course, the cops are idiots, so Homer is able to convince them that their dog is reacting because he has wieners in his pocket. (hey bby is that a wiener in ur pocket or are u just happy to see me ;) i'm single ladies) 

Homer tells Moe something his mother once told him: he's a big disappointment. (Obviously this doesn't gel with the ultimate portrayal of Mona Simpson, but given that she doesn't actually appear in any way until season 7, I'm willing to give the writers a pass here.) Barney reassures him that it's not his fault; he just has crummy kids no one can control. Homer is pissed at Barney badmouthing his kids, and the two get in a brawl, leaving Homer knocked out on the floor…only to be awoken by an ad for Dr. Marvin Monroe’s Family Therapy Center airing in the middle of the boxing match on the bar TV, promising family bliss or double your money back.

“When will I learn?” Homer chuckles. “The answers to life’s problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle…they're on TV!!”

Homer heads home, and calls a family meeting. Lisa asks why they can't do this while he's watching TV, but Homer ignores her, stating that the family needs professional help and they're going to see Dr. Marvin Monroe. Lisa is incredulous that Homer is sending them to a doctor who advertises on pro wrestling, but Homer points out that it's boxing, so it's okay clearly. Marge is uncertain too, but Homer claims he had the best ad on TV. They'll just need 250 bucks.

BUT OOPS! They do not have 250 bucks. So Homer decides, in probably the most out of character moment of the episode, to pawn the TV, against his family’s protests. Everyone is distraught with this outcome, but Homer goes through with the sale regardless.

Cut to the therapy center, where numerous families wait to be seen as Marge bemoans Homer’s choices. Including, in an excellent little detail, the Nice Normal Family from earlier! Fun little easter egg.

Homer goes to pay the receptionist, agonizing over the decision, but is convinced he's making the right choice when we see a family of off-brand Simpsons exit the office, happy and content and ready for Frosty Chocolate Milkshakes™. At this point, Dr. Monroe exits as well, letting the brand name Simpsons in. He comments that they probably know him from TV, to which Lisa snarks that they would if they had one. Homer starts to yell, but Monroe tells him to let his daughter express her emotions instead. He gives them each a pad of paper and a marker, and urges them all to draw their anxieties and stressors.

…They all just draw Homer. Except for Homer himself, obviously, who draws an airplane because he wasn't paying attention (relatable). 

Dr. Monroe tells Homer that if he had been paying attention, he'd see his family sees him as a very stern authority figure–”an ogre.” Marge and Lisa deny this, but Bart agrees wholeheartedly. Homer is obviously pissed by this, and threatens Bart with a lamp, but Monroe urges him to stop, acknowledging that they want to kill each other but noting that there are better ways to get their aggression out. Like his patented aggression therapy mallets!

Cue everyone beating each other up with the mallets and clearly having a grand old time. Homer, though, notices that they're padded, and Bart says they'd be more effective if they weren't, taking the padding off and hitting Monroe in the shin like the tiny bastard boy he is. Monroe is clearly upset, and says they'll have to resort to more “unorthodox” methods. 

You know, like a machine that lets everyone shock each other. This is supposed to be a form of aversion therapy, where a shock is sent every time someone says something hurtful to someone, but in all honesty I think this is actually insane and Dr. Marvin Monroe should probably be stripped of his license. Like seriously, this has to be malpractice, right? There’s no way this is even remotely sound therapeutic practice. What the fuck, dude.

And of course, the Simpsons aren't using it as intended anyway, simply shocking each other willy-nilly.

They just do this for a while, to Monroe’s increasingly angry protests, and ultimately use up enough electricity to cause power flickers around town. This is a really iconic scene, I know, but there's honestly not a ton to talk about with it. It's just funny. Like, seriously, how am I supposed to comment on what is effectively a single long gag? What do you want from me? I’M DOING MY BEST DAMMIT

Ultimately, the receptionist enters, telling Monroe that all his waiting patients have left the building, and he finally shuts off the shock machine. Shockingly (heh), though, it seems that this has actually worked for the Simpsons–Marge says she thought they were making real progress. Monroe, however, insists that they're incurable, and demands they leave. 

Of course, Homer points out the caveat in his ad: he promised family bliss, or double their money back. Monroe tries to protest, but ultimately acquiesces, albeit very begrudgingly. The family is now 500 bucks richer! 

And naturally, when Marge brings up buying the TV back, Homer dreams bigger. They're getting a new, better TV! Marge expresses the family's love for Homer, they kiss, and the Simpsons walk off together into the night, harmonious for once. GOOD END

I've gotta say, There's No Disgrace Like Home is a hard episode to rate. It's easily the funniest episode yet, in my opinion…but the sloppy characterization really drags it down for me. I should probably be more forgiving given that we're still in season one, but like I've said, it feels out of character in places even by those standards, and it bothers me more than it should. I don't think I can rate it higher than a 6/10, but it does get points for humor.

Again, I'm deeply sorry for my hiatus. The good news is, I got my meds finally, and I'm BACK, baby!! Thanks for sticking with me, and I'll see you next week for Bart The General!